Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.

In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice.

If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.

Trust is important to any relationship… and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked.

Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.