Lois Greiman

"You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties."

"Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards."

"Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind."

"Trust is important to any relationship… and easier to come by if you get a picture of a guy's wife buck naked."

"If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago."

"Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink."

"In this town, a successful marriage is one that lasts longer than ice."