My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say and then to say it with the utmost levity.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

When people shake their heads because we are living in a restless age ask them how they would like to life in a stationary one and do without change.

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself.

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

Reminiscences make one feel so deliciously aged and sad.