George Bernard Shaw

It's all that the young can do for the old to shock them and keep them up to date.

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

Self-denial is not a virtue it is only the effect of prudence on rascality.

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

A man learns to skate by staggering about and making a fool of himself. Indeed he progresses in all things by resolutely making a fool of himself.

Old-fashioned people think you can have a soul without money. They think the less money you have, the more soul you have. Young people nowadays know better. A soul is a very expensive thing to keep: much more so than a motor car.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.