TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Acquaintance n: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to.

Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it.

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.