Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

Ah, heavens and earth, friend, if you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor that you could to-day.

I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.

This poor little one-horse town.