As a child I was an inveterate liar. As opposed to now, I am a Novelist.

Most of my friends were in band, and most of my free time during school was spent within twenty feet of the band room.

Sure, anyone can name fourteen dead people. But we're disorganized mourners, so a lot of people end up remembering Shakespeare, and no one ends up remembering the person he wrote Sonnet Fifty-five about.

Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page,' Radar said. 'For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried.

I mean, he was something that happened to me, you know? But before he was this minor figure in the drama of my life he was - you know, the central figure in the drama of his own life.

Part of not being a self-centered asshole, Colin reasoned, is doing things with your friends even when you don't want to.