Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The only real laughter comes from despair.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.