Nancy was so thrilled, I thought she was going to kiss me—and I thought I was actually going to have to hit a chick.

I understood books. I did not understand boys—especially alien boys.

Me and Katy look adorkable in extraterrestrialhighway shirts. You would just look stupid. You can thank me later.

You don’t have to want to be in arelationship for a little bow-chicka-bow-wow.

When people inexplicably dissapeared into thin air, it was usually because they had a new zip code. Something like 666.