I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

You're the one who has to live with your choice,' she says. 'Everyone else will get over it, move on, no matter what you decide. But you never will.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?I want to be.I can.I believe it.

But a person can only keep reality - and anger - at bay for so long before the truth comes back again.

Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives.

He must have stood there for a long time, making a list of all the terrible things he had done—almost killinng me was one of those thingss—and another list of all the good, heroic, brave things he had not done, and then decided that he was tired. Tired, not just of living, but of existing. Tired of being Al.