I said nothing for a time, just ran my fingertips along the edge of the human-shaped emptiness that had been left inside me.

I don't deserve a girl like Hatsumi,' Nagasawa once said to me. I had to agree with him.

I'm not afraid to die. What I'm afraid of is having reality get the better of me, of having reality leave me behind.

Even so, there were times I saw freshness and beauty. I could smell the air, and I really loved rock 'n' roll. Tears were warm, and girls were beautiful, like dreams. I liked movie theaters, the darkness and intimacy, and I liked the deep, sad summer nights.

The better you were able to imagine what you wanted to imagine, the farther you could flee from reality.

I'm going to live to be twenty-five,' she said, 'then die.