Ogden Nash

"If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."

"I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers."

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

"Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor."