Matthew Heines

"Wisdom of the Ages: 'New Year's Eve' The last day you can do all the things you are resolving to give up-until you give up on your New Year's resolutions."

"Wisdom of the Ages: 'Wildlife Education' When I was a kid, the only woodland creature I knew of was the squirrel. I guess that's why no one believed me when I told them a squirrel just ate two of my friends."

"Wisdom of the Ages: 'The Pope and Congress' It looks as if confidence in the American voter to exorcise the demons in the Capitol has completely fallen through."

"Wisdom of the Ages: 'Look out Below!' Air Asia's catchy new advertising slogan."