Andy Weir

WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).

As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.

If I could have anything, it would be a radio to ask NASA the safe path down the Ramp. Well, if I could have anything, it would be for the green-skinned yet beautiful Queen of Mars to rescue me so she can learn more about this Earth thing called “lovemaking.