Thirty-five things have to go wrong for the best thing to happen in your career.

"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."

Conan O'Brien

"When all else fails, there's always delusion."

Conan O'Brien

"Applaud my idiocy."

Conan O'Brien